You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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