Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
