I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Every concussion has its silver lining
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
