its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
The struggles of a small town man whore
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
