New low: just hacked my moms facebook
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
