Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
