Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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