Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
