'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
