Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize