he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
