six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
