"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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