quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
