Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
