Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
