I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
