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id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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