remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize