Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
