All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
