O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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