So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
