I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
