He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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