Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize