She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Randomize
