so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Randomize
