I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
