with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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