Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
