Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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