dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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