Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
