We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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