Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
