On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
