I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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