I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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