She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
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