Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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