My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize