More tranny stories later!
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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