in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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