physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just found puke in my bra..
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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