Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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