can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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