People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize