So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
