I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
