Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
