I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize