he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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