marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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