is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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