I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize