Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
