I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize