Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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