Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
