dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
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