Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
