wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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