i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
